Resolve conflict with your housemates the easy way!

Living with flatmates during university can be a great experience, but it’s normal for disagreements or conflicts to arise from time to time. After all, conflict is a part of life, and expecting everything to run smoothly all the time is unrealistic. Whether it's noise, mess, or something else, these issues can pop up, often without anyone realising. Rather than letting things escalate into full-blown arguments, it's important to address concerns early on to maintain harmony. Here are some simple ways to manage conflict with your flatmates and how we can assist if things get tricky.

Establish clear boundaries and expectations

Agree on house rules early, covering things like cleaning, noise, and sharing communal spaces or items. This helps everyone understand what’s expected, preventing misunderstandings or arguments later on.

Example: Set up a rota for cleaning duties so everyone knows who’s responsible for what and when. Display it in a shared space so it’s clear and accessible to all.

Open and honest communication

Tackling issues head-on in a calm and respectful manner is key. Avoid leaving passive-aggressive notes or messages, as they can easily be misinterpreted. Instead, aim to create an environment where everyone feels comfortable to speak openly.

Example: If a flatmate’s loud music is disrupting you, politely ask them to turn it down, or agree on quiet hours that work for everyone. Showing you’re willing to listen to their requests will encourage them to do the same for you.

Regular check-ins

Holding regular check-ins can help prevent minor issues from becoming larger conflicts. These can be informal chats where you raise any concerns and plan activities together. Making time for fun as a group can also strengthen relationships and reduce the likelihood of conflict.

Example: Organise a weekly or monthly get-together where you all do something enjoyable, like cooking a meal or watching a film - these can be good chances to chat about the flat.

Practice empathy

Understanding your flatmates' perspectives is crucial. Everyone has different habits and backgrounds, so being patient and empathetic can go a long way in resolving tensions.

Example: If a flatmate is stressed during exam season, try to be more flexible with noise or shared space usage to help them focus.

Compromise and negotiate

Living with others often involves compromise. Being willing to negotiate and find the middle ground can make all the difference in maintaining a positive living environment. It’s a great opportunity to build life skills that will benefit you in other areas too.

Example: If a flatmate is away for the week and can’t do their assigned cleaning, offer to cover for them if they’re willing to return the favour another time.

Seek mediation when needed

If a conflict persists and can’t be resolved through communication, bringing in a neutral third party can help mediate the situation. That’s where we come in—our mediation services can help guide discussions and find solutions.

Example: A Residential Life Assistant (RLA) can step in to help facilitate discussions and offer impartial advice.

Remember, conflicts are natural and manageable, but it’s always better to address them sooner rather than later. If things do escalate, don’t hesitate to reach out for support - we can help sort it out before it becomes a bigger issue.